So, what are the 6 needs?

1. Certainty/Comfort – Comfort comes from certainty. Of course there is no absolute certainty but we can always try our very best to make sure that we can deliver and provide what is really expected of us.
2. Variety – It’s a normal human need. While we want certainty, we also want uncertainty. We call this “variety”. Imagine how dull our lives would be without variety…
3. Significance – It’s true… Deep down, we all want to be important. We want our life to have meaning and significance and to know that we all matter or are important to another living being on this earth.
4. Connection/Love - No arguments here, we all need love. How deprived would we be without the existence of love? It is the core reason for everything that we do in this life – and of course we also want to feel loved in return.
5. Growth – Growth is inevitable in life. It’s called evolution. To become better, to improve our skills, to be successful, we all need to continuously grow and learn. Growing is a life long process and doesn’t stop when you leave school.
6. Contribution - Everyone has the desire to contribute something of value, if not to humanity then to their loved ones or the people who are closest to them.

No matter how much we have achieved in any area of our lives, true fulfillment can only be found in one thing: the emotional quality of our personal relationships.

Unfortunately, most of us have settled for something that falls below our standards and deepest desires. We all want love, passion, and intimacy yet most of us fill ourselves up with work, friends, sports, food, or causes outside the realm of passion, ecstasy, and intimate love.

The good news is that regardless of your past experience or current relationship, the promise of something deeper, richer and lasting is within your grasp.

The majority of people have very low standards in life therefore they don’t achieve much. They don’t dream big because they think it’s unrealistic. So they only expect to have an average life and average life they get.

It’s easy to see how much the person will achieve in life by looking at his standards. If the person hopes to someday own a second-hand car, that shows that he has low standards. Such poor standards will never allow him to see any opportunities for buying a new car.

Settling down for the second best should never be anyone’s goal. Everyone can and is entitled to get only the best, yet because most people don’t raise their standards, they keep experiencing average stuff in their lives.

Raising standards means refusing to accept something that is not what you want. That should by no means be interpreted as pushing against that which you don’t want, because that will keep you stuck forever. It only means that you no longer agree to tolerate something that you’re not satisfied with and you focus on and demand better conditions. It means burning bridges to distance yourself from the average life and reaching for the better life.

Raising standards means distancing yourself from the people you no longer resonate with and being open to more enriching relationships.

Raising standards means quitting your job and focusing on building your own business to experience real freedom.

Raising standards means moving out of the environment you never liked and having courage to move into much more pleasant surroundings.

Raising standards means refusing to buy cheap stuff that makes you feel average.

Raising standards means being able to say “no” when you want and not feel guilty about it.

Raising standards means knowing your worth and refusing to settle down for things that don’t appeal to you.

I raised my standards by refusing to work for someone else. I didn’t care if that would mean having no money for some time, I just couldn’t put up with being someone’s slave anymore. To me, working for someone else meant loss of freedom and being used as a tool for someone else to succeed. Life eventually gave me what I was asking for – it always does, just some people don’t wait long enough to receive what they asked for.

I get a lot of emails from people asking me for advice for one particular problem – they do everything right, yet nothing seems to change. They visualise, they think positively and do all the other stuff that is necessary to improve their lives, yet things remain exactly as they were. So here’s my solution to this problem: you need to give some time for everything to change. Nothing can change instantly in your environment when you start thinking positively. Give some time and you will definitely get what you demand.

Anyone who succeeds in whatever they pursue do so because they refuse to accept less than what they want. For example, R. Kiyosaki (self-made millionaire) absolutely refused to work for someone else.

(By the way, his story really inspired me and contributed to my self employment. Some of my friends became self-employed too after reading his books. If you haven’t read his first book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”, you definitely should, especially if you want to work for yourself.)

He and his wife were even on the streets once, yet they still continued to build their own business. Then they lived in the basement of their friend’s house (as far as I remember), but they still refused to work for someone else.

They also tithed and paid themselves first whenever they earned some money. They refused to give all their money to pay bills – they tithed and paid themselves first, and only then paid their bills. It was really tough but they continued to build their own business, tithe and save. And finally both of them became extremely successful.

One? Two? Twenty? How about 200? Some college students have cited as many as 237 different reasons for having sex.

From pleasure to procreation, insecurity to inquisitiveness — today’s reasons for taking a roll in the hay seem to vary as much as the terms for the deed itself. A 2010 Sexuality & Culture review of sex motivation studies states that people are offering “far more reasons for choosing to engage in sexual activity than in former times.” And we’re doing it more often, too. It is a stark contrast from historical assumptions, which tend to cite only three sexual motivators: To make babies, to feel good, or because you’re in love.

Today, sexual behaviors seem to have taken on many different psychological, social, cultural, even religious meanings. Yet, some sexologists say, at the most basic level, there is only one true reason people seek sex.

Wired for Sex

“We are programmed to do so. Asking why people have sex is akin to asking why we eat. Our brains are designed to motivate us toward that behavior,” says Richard A. Carroll, PhD, a sex therapist and associate professor in the department ofpsychiatry and behavioral sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine.

The idea that humans are hard-wired for sex reflects an evolutionary perspective, says Elaine Hatfield, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Hawaii and author of that 2010 review examining sexual motives from cross-cultural, historical, and evolutionary viewpoints.

“Evolutionary theorists point out that a desire for sexual relations is ‘wired in’ in order to promote species survival,” she tells WebMD in an email. “Cultural theorists tend to focus on the cultural and personal reasons people have (or avoid) sex. Cultures differ markedly in what are considered to be ‘appropriate’ reasons for having or avoiding sex.”

What’s Your Motive?

Why do you seek sex? Motivations generally fall into four main categories, according to psychologists at UT-Austin, who asked more than 1,500 undergraduate college students about their sexual attitudes and experiences.

• Physical reasons: Pleasure, stress relief, exercise, sexual curiosity, orattraction to a person.
• Goal-based reasons: To make a baby, improve social status (for example, to become popular), or seek revenge.
• Emotional reasons: Love, commitment, and gratitude.
• Insecurity reasons: To boost self-esteem, keep a partner from seeking sex elsewhere, or because of a feeling of duty or pressure (for example, a partner insists on having sex).

The Difference Between the Sexes

Generally speaking, men seek sex because they like how it feels. Women, although they very well may also derive pleasure from the act, are generally more interested in the relationship enhancement aspects of sex. Researchers describe these differences as body-centered versus person-centered sex.

• Body-centered sex is when you have sex because you like the way it makes your body feel. You are not really caring about the emotions of your partner.
• Person-centered sex is when you have sex to connect with the other person. You care about the emotions involved and the relationship.

By Kelli Miller Stacy
WebMD Feature

With Love and Respect…Rebuilding Relationship..

Ken and Robin

Love Ya,

Ken & Robin